The cost of commitment part 1...
This weekend has been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions...
On Saturday I saw some amazing photos of GGA and now have a better idea of where I'll be and of some of the places I'll be working. The happy smiles of some of the children as they carry their month's supplies off on their heads were amazing. It was good to find out more about what I'll be doing, although 'keep an open mind' seems to be the one thing I can have first in my head as I prepare. My title will be 'General Manager'. I'm very excited about the adventures that I'm going to have out there and the difference that I can make in being part of the GGA family.
Fast forward to Sunday night church and a service on 'treasure in heaven' (Matt 6), with almost every single dedication (and therefore hard to sing) song possible...
I bow my knee before the throne, I know my life is not my own.
Lord you have my heart .... let me be to you a sacrifice...
and my own personal (almost impossible to sing) favourite
All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give...
I couldn't quite sing that one very well, something to do with sobbing too much...
the realisation had hit about all that God is asking me to give up in order to go to SA. A very cosy and easy lifestyle, fantastic friends and a wonderful family, to name but a few blessings.
It's so easy to sing these songs when life is wonderful and you're not really thinking about what God might ask you to give up, it's really really hard to sing them when you have to actually give up all you hold dear and take that step further onto God's path, the narrow road. And I guess it's only the promise of amazing blessing for being obedient and for following and going where I'm told that was holding me up last night. It was terrible and yet amazing at the same time.
I am already SO sad about the friends I'll be leaving here, I know that in some respects it's almost harder for them to let me go, but they must. I'm not sad about leaving my job though ;)
or at the prospect of living by faith again, that's an adventure...
It's the fact that over the 2 yrs, which will go fast in some respects, people and situations will change here in England. Change is inevitable, it's our ability to adapt that holds us together. I've lived abroad before, I've done the long-distance friends thing, it's hard, but it's not impossible.
And yet God is good. It's exciting to think of all the good things that will happen over those 2 years, to me in SA and to my friends here and all around. There are some things that are not negotiable but remain true wherever I am, such a God being faithful and true, his presence with me in EVERY situation I find myself in, his protection and his love never leaving me.
And so it is sad that I'm going, but also incredibly joyous too, and time will prove that.
On Saturday I saw some amazing photos of GGA and now have a better idea of where I'll be and of some of the places I'll be working. The happy smiles of some of the children as they carry their month's supplies off on their heads were amazing. It was good to find out more about what I'll be doing, although 'keep an open mind' seems to be the one thing I can have first in my head as I prepare. My title will be 'General Manager'. I'm very excited about the adventures that I'm going to have out there and the difference that I can make in being part of the GGA family.
Fast forward to Sunday night church and a service on 'treasure in heaven' (Matt 6), with almost every single dedication (and therefore hard to sing) song possible...
I bow my knee before the throne, I know my life is not my own.
Lord you have my heart .... let me be to you a sacrifice...
and my own personal (almost impossible to sing) favourite
All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give...
I couldn't quite sing that one very well, something to do with sobbing too much...
the realisation had hit about all that God is asking me to give up in order to go to SA. A very cosy and easy lifestyle, fantastic friends and a wonderful family, to name but a few blessings.
It's so easy to sing these songs when life is wonderful and you're not really thinking about what God might ask you to give up, it's really really hard to sing them when you have to actually give up all you hold dear and take that step further onto God's path, the narrow road. And I guess it's only the promise of amazing blessing for being obedient and for following and going where I'm told that was holding me up last night. It was terrible and yet amazing at the same time.
I am already SO sad about the friends I'll be leaving here, I know that in some respects it's almost harder for them to let me go, but they must. I'm not sad about leaving my job though ;)
or at the prospect of living by faith again, that's an adventure...
It's the fact that over the 2 yrs, which will go fast in some respects, people and situations will change here in England. Change is inevitable, it's our ability to adapt that holds us together. I've lived abroad before, I've done the long-distance friends thing, it's hard, but it's not impossible.
And yet God is good. It's exciting to think of all the good things that will happen over those 2 years, to me in SA and to my friends here and all around. There are some things that are not negotiable but remain true wherever I am, such a God being faithful and true, his presence with me in EVERY situation I find myself in, his protection and his love never leaving me.
And so it is sad that I'm going, but also incredibly joyous too, and time will prove that.
posted by Caroline @ 4:19 pm
1 Comments:
At Monday, 27 February, 2006,
Martin said…
You may be many miles away, but I'm sure that many of us will be supporting you in prayer, and we will I'm sure be in contact. I'm sure God will bless you.
I actually found that last night's sermon resonated with me too, although not in quite such a tearful way. See my comments on Jon's blog.
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